Sometimes a guy might believe that his ex girlfriend is not the sort of woman to immediately, or very quickly begin hooking up with a new guy after a break up. And rather than stick up for your ex and tell the critics to back off or to go ahead and attack you, too, you keep silent. In some cases, a woman will realize that even though theres no sexual spark anymore, she still likes having her ex around because she likes him as a person and hes a really good guy. I dont think Im missing Alex, shes still in my life and a great friend to me, I think I just want what she gave me and I want the relationship and the conversations and the love and kindness she provided .. but I want that from Sophie. One of the reasons they get away with so much abuse is that the makeup of sex is always mind-blowing. The narcissist has no interest whatsoever in changing. I wanted out from the start, but the thrill and the gaslighting made me a completely different person. My Ex Girlfriend Shouts at Me When I Try to Talk to Her. Ill meet my perfect match and I wont care about how my ex treats his current girlfriend. My Ex Treats Me Like Her Boyfriend, But Doesn't Want a Relationship Another thing that hurts: During their relationship he used to post about her all the time as the one and only love of my life and constantly saying things like my gorgeous girlfriend etc. Thats exactly why its so crucial for you to realize you dont actually want your ex back. The second scenario is that the narcissist left. The question is whether your ex-partner will treat you any differently now that youre no longer together. Lets be honest here for a moment. Of course, you shouldnt say, I dont want you treating me like your boyfriend if you dont want a relationship with me. Keep reading if you want to find out how narcissists treat their exes. Well my friends, fear not, as in this post we'll break it all down - starting with the key signs your ex hates you, how you know if your ex hates you and how to deal with an ex that hates you. Youre going through awful feelings that keep you bound to your bed. How Long Does It Take to Recover From Narcissistic Abuse? So if your narcissistic ex-partner calls threatening to take their life, theyre more than likely pulling your bluff in hopes that youll feel so sorry for them and be so worried that theyll actually do it, you come running back. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. And he wants to protect himself from being hurt again. Privacy Policy. Instead, you should be grateful that someone accepts you as you are, and how dare you even think you can find someone better. The only difference is theyll resort to telling you that your weaknesses are the reasons why youll never find anyone to love you as much as them. They either realized they were dating a narcissist and got out of the relationship as fast as their legs could carry them and didnt look back. He is now gone thank God! His new relationship must be what he was looking for his entire life and it must be with someone who he cares about more than he cared about you. Its the same thing with relationships. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. But once the narcissist gets you into bed, theyll ghost you which will reintroduce you to the same cycle of narcissistic abuse youve just escaped. The male I spent 7-1/2 years with is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend and her brother-in-law and has been for nearly 25 years. So at the end of the day, she gets that treatment from him. Do Narcissists want their ex back? You initiated the divorce or the break-up, and he still doesnt understand why. we go together a couple months after they broke up, and we only got close bc we would talk about her. You cannot fathom how your partner could possibly be over. When youre with the right person, everything is so much easier. Please, take the time to do some soul-searching and realize that you dont actually want him back. 1. Reading Suggestion: How to take control away from a Narcissist? All to get him to be a better boyfriend to you. If you dismiss his charge of abuse as overreacting or projecting, its worth taking a closer look at your relationshipideally with a therapist who has relevant experience. If he then asks, Is there someone else? she can then say something like, I will tell you, but promise not to get angry.. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. You always thought that you could get someone to treat you well by being kind and compassionate towards them. She makes him happy and shes able to get the best out of him. But you couldnt move forward just by seeing his potential. After that experience maybe he is also more afraid of rejection and is playing it more careful. Additionally, if she meets new men who make her feel a lot of sexual and romantic attraction, she will care less and less that youre not contacting her anymore. That in itself will help you learn how to become more assertive. But then I realized they were just compensating for a very bad relationship. As you can imagine, narcissistic jealousy leans more towards the negative side of things. Or did he always make excuses why he cant post you on his Instagram? But now youre gone, the narcissist misses the ability to control you. Required fields are marked *. So let's get stuck in It just means that you werent right for him. In real life, thats not true. The boy goes on smear campaigns about my daughter. Or maybe you blabbed about their worst offenses or worst traits when talking to family members or mutual friends. Reading Suggestion: The Narcissist Discard phase. Whether they believe the narcissist or not is irrelevant, theyve sown a seed of doubt so that when you do tell your side of the story, theyre skeptical. Theyll start being overly nice by buying you gifts, and taking you out. So, she doesnt really feel like she is losing anything and can comfortably move on behind his back (i.e. Youll convince yourself that you have no reason to walk away from them, but there will always be a nagging feeling in the back of your mind telling you that you should walk away. At that moment, your ex knows whats really important to you and what comes second. Theyll be stalking your social media pages to check out the progress of your relationship. My boyfriend treated his ex better than me : r/relationship_advice - Reddit Its never easy to see an ex move on. Their partner saw past the mask, realized they were flawed and left. Youll start to compare yourself to her at one point. My concerns were never addressed and I was left feeling guilty for considering accepting the promotion that I really want. Are they jealous of their ex? This girl we will call Aft gets around! I worry about jeopardizing a good relationship with my insecurities and abandonment issues (thats been a pattern for me in the past) vs. being delusional and in denial and he truly feeling lukewarm about me and its best if I end things. No, it wasn't always like this and that's what makes it so dangerous. my boyfriend doesn't treat me like his ex : r/relationships - Reddit Its so much easier to do this without muddying the waters with context or any mention of your own mistakes. She will realize that a relationship with you would feel so much better than it did in the past and as a result, she will become open to getting back with you. But why would you feel jealous that he treats someone else better? Many individuals have experienced and will experience loving an ex who treated them badly, and it is more common than you think. Are you serious about getting your ex back? And I wish I felt that way with Sophie. When you hit the send button, you never thought the photo would be used against you in a million years. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Maybe you didnt consciously intend to win them over against your ex, but theyve all turned against him. He ignores you or disregards what you say to him (even in front of others); He openly criticizes you or argues every point you make; He rolls his eyes or displays other dismissive body language toward you. Your ex is wrong for you. He would make such huge sacrifices just to show up and spend time with me. Narcissists are psychologically damaged people. She can end up feeling like he is being selfish and just trying to get what he wants, even though he isnt offering her what she wants (i.e. Now its time to focus on your own demands, needs, wants, and boundaries. In this scenario, it will manifest by doing everything in their power to get their partner to return, so they can get their revenge and end the relationship. Its one thing if the thing you took was a gift given to both of you, and you thought, Well, I use this more than he does, or This will look so great in my apartment. In that case, you can discuss it with your ex and maybe offer something in exchange as a compromise. But he still loves you and is still hurting. Give him the space to grieve what he thought you had together or what he hoped you would have as a couple. She reacted very defensively at first and eventually ended up breaking down, calling herself a bad partner, saying she cant do anything right, I comforted her and reassured her and eventually she was okay and then everything went back to normal. He stabbed his own cousin in the back. Hed say things that didnt make sense, like that he simply isnt the type of guy who does that and so on. Please complete this quick form to gain instant access. TL;DR - My ex was much kinder, more loving, and more understanding than my current gf. he is truly excited and passionate about me and only treats me differently than his ex because he has grown as a person and doesnt want to make the same mistakes. Is Your Marriage Over? I want to plan a life with someone who I feel loved by every day, who I feel like understands me and wants me to be happy no matter what. Think Aloud is a destination where youll find stories about every step you, as a woman, take. But its not as sincere as it may seem at first glance. he doesn't treat me like her. When I really think about it, I dont want him back, 10. The narcissists jealousy may even lead them to try and sabotage your new relationship by spreading rumors about you or your new partner. So, if your ex has been saying things like, Im not going to date anyone else either. I always felt ashamed when we went out because theyd just throw on anything.. You initiated the divorce or the break-up, and he still doesn't understand why. If you can tolerate the emotional rollercoaster that will come with maintaining a friendship with a narcissist, then go ahead. When I ask him why the double standard, he states its because he got so traumatized by conflicts with his ex that he is now hypersensitive of any signs of going there again and maybe thats unfair to me but thats his baggage. Youll never have any peace, youll be in a constant state of limbo, and the narcissist will never allow you to move on. Treating me different than his ex : r/relationships - Reddit And even with that, trust doesnt grow back automatically. The sad truth is that she could just be another girl that he wants to break into pieces. 9 Ways how Narcissists treat their exes Do Narcissists care about their exes? He says if things go well he would want to get married and move in together around year 5. Why is My Ex Being Cold, Distant and Rude? | The Modern Man Whenever you feel jealous that your ex treats his new girlfriend better than you,you need to understand that she might just be better with boundaries. A lot of people change, but there were enough clues in your past relationship to know it wouldnt work out. Because narcissists only connect with people who provide narcissistic supply. Theyre the type the narcissist can control. This is a terrible blow to the narcissists self-esteem, and it will activatenarcissistic rage. Only certain exes Can You be Friends With a Narcissist Ex? These exes that the narcissist connects with because theyre still under the narcissists spell. Im a very emotional and calm guy, I dont like aggression at all, I told her this. He might pretend like hes found the right person, but you know him. Reading Suggestion: What is narcissistic Supply? All rights reserved. Good for you for getting out! Your email address will not be published. All Im saying is that you have the right to demand the things that you want from a relationship and your partner. Because as far as the experts are concerned; narcissists have dark personality traits, lack empathy and narcissists rarely change. Maybe you cheated, and the relationship hasnt recovered from that. 11 reminders for when my ex treats his new girlfriend better, 6. He could be developing/growing and changing 7. But this is one of the narcissists weapons of mass destruction. When someone breaks up with you, you feel as if youre undeserving of love and you dont have any game left in you. Let's dissect this insight and iron out some truths. Advice? Why does my ex still treat me like his girlfriend when he tells - Quora Hell think that he was an awful boyfriend and even worse human being for treating you the way he did. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. How to make a Narcissist Obsessed With You? Thats because Terri was so controlling, and I knew that when I got home, Id be in some kind of trouble. Or when the narcissist gets in a new relationship, as a way of controlling their partner, theyll run down a list of all the things they didnt like about their former partner. I feel so sad and demoralized and like I am just some placeholder he never loved or will love or feel excited about ever close to his ex. Two: The situation, while difficult, is completely normal and almost anyone has . And given what youre both going through right now, that probably isnt a shock. Finally, another mistake to avoid in a situation like yours is. The new woman came into his life in a matter of weeks or a few short months after you broke up. But you need to know it wont be a normal post relationship friendship, you cant give the narcissist full access to your life or theyll destroy it. I know he didnt it on purpose bc 2 days before he threatened to do it. Typically, people who seek professional help do so because they have a level of self-awareness thats given them insight into their mental and emotional state. Sophie has a hard time supporting me when things dont mesh with her life (for example, we recently got into a big argument because I was promoted and I want to stay at the job I absolutely love but she wants me to move closer to her and her family. I don't know what I should do. Here are five possible reasons why it's happening to you. He has already helped countless men from all over the world to get their ex woman back and he can help you too. What else am I supposed to think?!. But its the blunt truth. Try to remind yourself of this whenever youre feeling anger or hate towards the girl hes with. 1. It pains you to see him treat his new girl better than he treated you.
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